Opening sentence for my story

Kia Ora everyone, W.A.L.T write an interesting first sentence to hook our reader. My first sentence was " one day a boy was playing on his Xbox." This is my improved  sentence "pewpewpewh A boy was playing video games in a dark gloomy room." I think my updated sentence is better than my first sentence. Here are my sentence's  

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Returning to school.

Kia ora everyone, today I am going to share my first draft of some writing I have done about returning to school after lock down. Our teacher gave us some instructions to write about how we were feeling about going back to school. How were you feeling going back to school? What could I do to improve my writing?